Hollie Grimaldi Flores: What's next

Hollie Grimaldi Flores

Change is the constant in life. It's a simple paradox — one of the few things we can count on is that nothing will remain the same. This can be comforting in times of turmoil and grief. It is discomforting in times of peace and celebration — waiting for the next shoe to drop is no way to live!

There have been many segments, if you will, in my experience that I thought would last forever. Friends who I thought would always be there. Family I could always count on. Jobs I would always have. But the reality is friendships end, family is not a guarantee, and jobs come and go. That is life.

Life changes and a bit of our success is based on our ability to ride the wave, to go with the flow, to adjust and keep moving. Some would say change is not only inevitable, but vital, but that does not mean change is easy.

There are parts where change is part of the presumed outcome. For example, children. We know that raising children means constant change as they develop and become increasingly independent. We expect there will be a time when they leave the home. Change is expected.

School days will come to an end and many of the relationships formed during that journey will end as well. Not too long ago, I pulled out my high school yearbook to look up the photo of a classmate who had died. I vaguely remembered the name. While looking through the tome, I started to read some of the notes and was struck by the number of RMA's (remember me always) scrawled across various pages. In a time, we thought we’d never forget, the reality is we were saying goodbye. We knew it was the end of an era. Change was coming.

I’m happy to maintain a precious few of those relationships to this day and of course social media has basically replaced the need for a reunion. I keep track of lots of folks from those days in a daily feed. Ironically many who would never have signed my yearbook! Talk about change!

As a young adult, I moved from home and established a new life in a new city many times. In each of those instances, friendships were developed on various levels and each time, I thought those friendships would continue even after I moved on — maybe not on the same level but that our connection was solid — but most of those relationships ended in a relatively short time.

There are a few exceptions, for which I am thankful. I tend to hang on to people I care about, but even with the best of intentions, many fell away. It took me a long time to learn this lesson.

For a couple of years in the early 1980s, I spent nearly every day with a small group of fun-loving people. We worked together and we played together and even when I announced I would be moving across the country, I naively thought we’d always have each other. Today I do not know where even one of them resides. I think we lost track of each other before the turn of the next decade. Change is inevitable.

When I married the first time, I certainly believed that would be eternal, but in truth, the relationship was never stable. The only constant was that something had to change and change it did. Sometimes things just end.

Even in middle age there were some good stretches I thought would last forever. A job I loved for a decade and all that came with it. Every day was a bit different, which was part of the fun, and my role was ever changing as well, but when I left that job, the relationships faded as well. I thought they would be in my life forever, but somehow, we let go.

More recently, I was thinking about how much life has changed in this town I call home. I was recalling places I would frequent, groups I was part of that would gather weekly to have a beverage and catchup, organizations I committed to on a regular basis to attend functions and fundraisers, etc. It all changed. I didn't see it coming but it's all different now. I didn't realize how special it was. I didn't see it would end.

I really thought that it would always be the way it was, that we would always be the way we were. How could I have been so naïve?

Certainly, the passage of time is part of the reason, but primarily, I blame the pandemic. It was a huge catalyst and things have never been the same. The fabric of our tight community tore a little bit and a divide formed. We all got a look at the underbelly, and it was not pretty. Maybe, it would have happened anyway. Things have a way of running their course. Time marches on and all that. Whatever the cause, things are different now.

It is not all bad. New people have come to town with energy and ideas, money, and business acumen. They are adjusting too. The next generation is beginning to step in to serve and volunteer, run for office, and take over for those ready to retire. That is as it should be.

I am finding my footing and things are getting better as time goes by, but there is no denying there has been a change. Maybe, for me, these past few years simply helped me remove my "rose colored glasses." At the very least, it has been a reminder to embrace the people and circumstances I value and to remember that the good is to be savored and the bad will not last.

The only constant is change.

Hollie Grimaldi Flores is a Nevada County resident and freelance writer for hire. She can be reached at [email protected]

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